Dear Fanfiction Writers
by HyaHya
Summary: Finally the characters have had the sense to read up on what is said about them and have decided to reply with some interesting opinions! Just get on and read because my summary sucks! REVEIW! Who do you want to write to you? VLAD AND THANK YOU UP! COMPLETENESS!
1. Zoltan

_Heeey people! Just something really random I wrote._

_The Dracula's have finally worked out how to use the internet and are emailing the writers with complaints and thanks, well Vlad is thanking people. This is a series of letters from members of the cast so just get on and read it!_

_Check out this promo for my other fic, remove the spaces and off you go!_

_http: / /watch?v=2Woe_vHL9Fo_

Chapter One – Zoltan

_Dear fan fiction writers,_

_Do not ask me how I wrote this, I am a hellhound and have access to many things even if I can't hold a pen. (Basically I wrote it for him, Vlad )_

_I am slightly offended at how I am left out of everything; I have noticed that I only appear in about one sentence per fan fiction and would very much like this to change._

_Also I am NOT a dog, I am a HELLHOUND and do not appreciate being associated with those feeble minded animals though I do have a love for steak._

_About my Masters and others…:_

_Renefield: I have not seen anything on this subject yet but I wish to avoid it. He is a brainless animal and is before the mind wipe was removed he was constantly searching for my batteries to turn me off; perhaps it would be kind if someone wrote about him falling off a balcony._

_Ingrid: A very cruel and evil Mistress, I do not enjoy hearing stories about how she was cruel to me._

_Vlad: A charming young Master but with slight personality problems, I did not appreciate having my neck twisted round and strongly advise no one writes about gaining grievous injuries off him remember I did used to be with a pack of hellhounds that would tear people to pieces._

_The Count: Nothing on this subject, he generally ignores me except to ask the odd question._

_Wolfie: I share a slight kinship with this boy as he is a wolf, a distant relation of the hellhound. He tends to feed me steak when I am hungry, please write about steak._

_Thank you for reading my comments._

_Yours truly Zoltan._

**When the letter arrives:**

"Isn't a hellhound a type of dog?" One writer asks.

"Yes, and about this story we could do about Renefield falling off a balcony, I have such great plans!" laughs another writer who looks, sounds and acts freakishly like the Count bounds away rubbing his hands together gleefully.

The third writer, not in the best frame of mind says "Was that a threat? Was That A THREAT? Did A dog just threaten me? Pah! He cannot stop me writing, I will make more stories of his torment!

There is a barking at the door, the third writer flees screaming loudly about dogs.


	2. Ingrid

_:D I am happy that people like this,_

_Ingrid this time, next chapter will be the endearing Miss McCauley._

Chapter 2 – Ingrid

_Dear Fanfiction Writers_

_It is I, Princess of Darkness, Ingrid Dracula who writes to you ordering you to read. _

_To start off with I do not like all these stories are being based around my wimpire brother, he doesn't deserve all this attention but I DO! I have a much more interesting life and seriously breathers how can you imagine him evil? I can understand the anger problems but… evil? That is my forte and all this rubbish about him being gorgeous, I mean Renefield looks better than my brother!_

_I would rather stick pins made out of garlic into my eyes than be nice, in fact I would trade all the lack of blood in my body than be nice to everyone. Take that as a warning, threats will come later on._

_Possibly parings are off limits, my FROZEN heart belongs to Will and No one else!_

_Bertrand: IDIOTS! He is some stuck up teacher who doesn't know the meaning off evil, though kidnapping Erin was a move I should have done._

_Vlad: Nothing on this subject yet but I would strongly suggest I do not see any of it, my fangs have not been used in a while and I am gagging to bite someone._

_Renefield: WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? I better not see any of it, NONE OF IT AT ALL!_

_Robin: I have a sentence that could describe Robin. Stupid, idiotic, vampire wannabe. He is eviler than Vlad though…_

_Jonno: I think I may vomit… There is only one use for that slayer and that is draining, if you even think about it I will show you what my fangs look like up close._

_Erin: I WOULD NEVER DATE A SLAYER LET ALONE A FEMALE ONE!_

_I admit I have a soft spot for Wolfie but only because I am training him to be my evil pet._

_One thing I am pleased with but I am not thanking you because VAMPIRES NEVER SAY THANK YOU!, my evil deeds you have written are not quite up to my standard but at least it isn't being nice. But I do not smirk at the end of every evil word I say, I manipulate the person first and if anyone keeps downgrading my words then they will find their next meal is their last, *smirks*_

_HAHAHAHAHHA!_

_I order you to make me the Chosen One, ME! Countess Ingrid Dracula, Princess of Darkness, Chosen One, Grand High Vampire, yes..! What a great title._

_Now what are you waiting for WRITE MY CONQUERING OF THE UNIVERSE HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!_

_Yours Evily_

_*Countess* Ingrid Dracula, Princess of Darkness, *Chosen One*, *Grand High Vampire*_

_PS: If I do not find the appropriate titles for me I will make your death painful when I conquer the world._

**When the letter arrives**

"NOO!" One writer wails "I shall never eat again!"

"Huh?" Another writer asks, incidentally the one who replaced the person who was eaten by hellhounds. "Why not?"

"She said that If I kept writing about her without doing what she wants my next meal shall be my last!" he stops to pant and hyperventilate. "And you know what she did, she smirked! SHE SMIRKED!"

"She's not going to hurt you here and they have a treaty!" Says a writer who is still reading the letter. "That's not one sentence about Robin, THAT'S TWO! THE PRINCESS OF DARKNESS HAS MADE A MISTAKE HAHAHAHHAHA! AND ANOTHER, SHE SAID THANK YOU! Just not in the way intended! HAHAHAHAHHAHA!" The writer promptly faints with excitement only to be dragged out of the room by two hypnotised breathers. Three guesses who hypnotised them.

"I think he just went insane," One of the writers says watching their friend be dragged away.

"I totally agree but he was wrong anyway." Says a female writer who wore a hood and stood in the shadows, it seemed she had fangs…


	3. Miss McCauley

_I feel ill so I am off school._

_Soo the lovely Miss McCauley, you pick who you want hear from next!_

_I pressed a lot on writing as I am a budding writer myself and well, I just love writing. :D_

Chapter 3 Alex McCauley

_Dear fanfiction writers,_

_I am quite a fan of your tales; they are very interesting and show a level of great writing skill as an English teacher I cannot stress enough how vocabulary and capitalisation are important but you do it justice.  
I have no idea why you picked the names of Mr Count's family with an extra surname because they obviously aren't vampires…_

_It was nice of you to star me in your lovely stories but I am more than just a simple teacher who is terrified of vampires, they are quite interesting and would be a living story that everyone would have to write._

_After reading your stories in more detail I see you have blamed the Counts/Draculas for the freak storms we keep getting but I assure you no one has the power to command weather but it always seems to happen when someone is in a bad mood…_

_I have no idea what gave you such silly ideas but I do NOT have a crush on Mr Count, he is simply someone I work with. _

_Vlad… that's an interesting subject you breached, I don't know where you have this idea he is the king of the vampires, he is only eighteen! Along with his anger problems and personality jumps, I'm not sure what you mean. Ok I do but surely he just needs some counselling, the Counts (Yes I am pretty sure it is the COUNTS) are a slightly dysfunctional family so the two siblings (Vlad and Ingrid) are likely to have difficulties._

_I have a question to ask. Why do the Van Helsing's always visit the school at wildly inappropriate times?_

_Yours Sincerely _

_Alex McCauley._

_P.S: If you still think these fantasies are real I have a councillor friend who can help you!_

_PPS: I do not have a crush on Mr Dracula- I mean Mr Count._

**When the letter arrives…**

"She obviously has feelings for him!" One writer exclaims and pulls out a pen to write a story about the Count and endearing Miss McCauley.

"What do we call her in our stories?" Another writer asks scratching his head "Miss McCauley or Alex or Alex McCauley?"

"Anger problems? I do not have anger problems!" Vlad says stamping his foot angriliy.


	4. Erin

_Thank you for all the reviews (4 not much but still reviews!) on this fanfiction after just 3 chapters!_

_I have a confession to make, I had forgotten about Erin up until the point I got a message suggesting to have her write._

_Sorry, I was a bit mean about Bertrand but he is my least favourite character!_

_Tomorrow is my mum's birthday!_

_HAPPY 50th BIRTHDAY MUM! YAY!_

Chapter 4 – Erin

_Dear fanfiction writers,_

_I am Erin Noble the second, my parents were very forceful and attempted to turn me into a slayer but I think I have been disowned so I am just Erin._

_People probably want to hear my life story as not much is really known about me._

_Writers have presented me as like Vlad willing to do whatever it takes to save someone even if it means putting their safety above my own, I am very grateful for that; I would hate to follow in my namesake's footsteps (My grandmother) and become a cruel slayer with no care for life or unlife so I thank you for that._

_Many have said I am the only one who can control Vlad and his reflection when things get out of hand but I am sure there is someone out there who is a better match for Vlad than I, I just hope I can be as good._

_I'm not sure whether I want to be a vampire or not, the prospect terrifies me but if it was for Vlad or to survive I would choose unlife without a blink._

_My opinions on Vlad's family and others:_

_Vlad: I could never meet anyone I could love more or wish for but him, if he died I would have to die too, I cannot live without him and I do not wish to.  
If I become a vampire I will only let Vlad bite me as my heart will belong to him forever._

_Ingrid: An interesting person when I can push through the barriers around her, she doesn't mean to be the way she is. It's because she's been hurt so much so in defence she hurts the person first. There is something more underneath that wall, start writing about it and besides I figure it might make her happier if she has a story to herself._

_The Count: He scares me slightly and is not always nice to me._

_Renefield: I don't really interact much with Renefield but I think he is not the sharpest knife in the draw or even sharp, more blunt._

_Bertrand: Not to be trusted, he managed to outsmart Ingrid and he kidnapped me so make sure he does not stay with us._

_Jonno: I am not sure where his loyalties lie; he will keep to the treaty probably but if there is a chance for revenge on his father he might sacrifice everything._

_Your little tales are immensely enjoyable and I thank you for the praise you have given me, I hope I can live up to your expectations._

_Yours sincerely _

_Erin Noble the second._

**When the letter arrives**

"Such a lovely girl," One writer says after reading the letter.

"How will I make fun of her now?" Another wails

"I would make a much better girlfriend to the Chosen One" Becky grumbles.


	5. Count Dracula

_Sorry bout late posting, I totally forgot._

_I need a method to keep updating :l any ideas?_

_Ahhaahahha after 20 years I have finally updated!_

**Bold stuff is Ingrid talking/writing**

Chapter 5 – The Count

_Yes it is I! The Prince of Darkness, Conquer of souls and black hearted butcher of- _**Dad,** **We know!**

_I was talking to my adoring fans… _**You don't have any fans.**

_Just go away Ingrid! _**Fine**

_As I was writing, it is I! Prince of darkness, Conquer of Souls and black hearted butcher of- _**Get on with it!**

_..._

_Uh… Ah…_

_Now I have a fang to pick with you writers, I am meant to be evil, powerful and terrifying but you have made me look like someone with no power who is terrified of his son! _**You are!**

_Ingrid? _**Yes?**

_Go away or I shall marry you off,_

…_.._

_That insolent child is gone. I will never know what is wrong with that girl…_

_So back to what I was saying, I am NO WAY afraid of my son and I do love him (SHOW THIS TO VLADIMIR!), I don't just want his power but as he should love me I should be given a title and a castle in Oxford where the young breathers shall fall into my fangs!_

_Magda. I don't know why people say I am scared of her or cannot resist her, she is black hearted, self-centred, beautiful…. That lady is nothing less than ash to me; I need her like a need a stake through the heart._

_Ah, the alluring Miss McCauley, I am unsure of why you seem to think I am in love with that breather woman; she is just very resistant to hypnosis and she is a very delicious lady… _

_Elisabeth Branaugh, why on earth are people bringing that up? I was fond of her yes, she makes a lovely servant; she did things Renefield definitely couldn't so how could I resist?_

_Ingrid, many of my fans seem to think that I treated Ingrid badly, that is how a girl is meant to be treated! And by the way she is a horrible, scheming, self-centred girl like her mother!_

_Vlad is not as perfect as all you young inexperienced fan authors seem to think, I have a list of all the things he does wrong!_

_Doesn't do what his father tells him to_

_Ignores his father_

_Gives his father garlic necklaces_

_Rescues traitors_

_Forgives slayers and his sister and his mother_

_Messes up my marriage on three occasions_

_Isn't evil enough_

_Falls in love with breathers_

_Falls in love with slayers_

_Peace with breathers_

_Peace with slayers_

_Metal coffin_

_Doesn't wear black_

_Doesn't drink proper blood_

_Let a maniacal vampire out of the Predictum Impaver_

_Allowed his reflection to tie me to a chair with fangcuffs and gave me a garlic necklace_

_Hypnotised Renefield_

_Insulted his father_

_Manipulated his father_

_Sleeps at night_

_Drinks soy blood_

_Goes to breather school_

_Refuses to train_

_Refused to open the Predictum Impaver_

_Got stuck in the mirror_

_Merged with his reflection two years late_

_Ran away_

_Got chummy with Bertrand_

_Refuses to go hunting with me_

_Reads fanfiction_

_I think I have given you enough reasons and I am sure that you will reconsider your views on him and write about him being bad but LISTENING TO ME! Maybe that will encourage him to behave more like a vampire but I am proud that Vladdy is such a womaniser and has so many girls wanting him to bite them and then he ruins it by refusing to._

_Yours fangfully_

_Count Dracula_

_Father of the Chosen One_

_The Prince of Darkness, _

_Conquer of souls _

_Black hearted butcher of- _[Not enough room]

**Fanfiction headquarters**

"Does anyone know how the sentence 'black hearted butcher of' ends? Asks one baffled HyaHya

"Just posting my love story about Erin and Vlad!" One excited writer announces, a few seconds late thunder and lightning fill the sky.

HyaHya gulps "I don't think it went down too well…"

Suddenly the door to the ff-HQ is blown off.

"Damn they've found me," HyaHya swears.

"UPDATE NOW!" A fanfiction reader screams pointing a gargoyle head at the accused writer.

"Is that a gargoyle head from Garside?" The statue burps and the end result is not pretty. Lets just say the lazy writer(HyaHya) ends up covered in goo that doesn't wash out.

_[I felt I should punish myself because of my lack of updates on this and other stories…]_


	6. Becky

_Yes, I am going to the uncharted lands that are Becky's head._

_I am going to update this ASAP so I can get it finished and it won't be hanging over my head._

Chapter Six – Becky

_Hey Fanfic people, _

_I am going to get straight to the point._

_Omfg I read this Fanfic by yektiddle… yeknodelper..? yekdonkey? Yeknodelittel! And I totally LOLLED! Erin being queen of vamps, what are you thinking? She doesn't even wear makeup!_

_Vlad being a vamp… Omfg he is so hot, I know if Erin didn't seduce him then he would be mine…_

_Whenever she goes Vlad is just like so saaad, and like whenever I try and comfort him he just like bites my head off and one time I thought he was gonna bite my neck cuz I smelt like garlic._

_Your stories are like rubbish sometimes, I mean Vlad obviously loves me! Not that weirdo freak Erin. You should definitely write stories about me being Vlad's Queen._

_Okay, what does everyone have against me? Even the author of this story has called my head uncharted lands and everyone keeps writing about Vlad finding me annoying and biting me, I mean what is with Vlad being a vampire? I mean he would look be even hotter if he was a vamp which he isn't because…_

_He doesn't go out in the sun._

_He likes kissing girls necks and brushing his teeth against veins._

_He hates garlic._

_He avoids mirrors._

_He wears black when he's not in school uniform_

_His eyes seem to change colour but that must be the lighting_

_OMFLGG! HOTTIE IS BLOODDUDE?_

_[Translation: Oh my f***ing god! Vlad is a vampire?]_

Due to Becky running from the room dramatically screaming this letter will end here.

**Fanfiction Headquarters**

"Aww dammit, she found out…" One writer says.

"I was going to write a dramatic fic about her finding out, the only thing dramatic about that was the screaming!" Another complains throwing his pen and paper on the floor jumping up and down throwing a massive tantrum.


	7. Renefield

_I know people want me to do Vlad but he is going to be the last person I do to finish off._

_I realised I did something very stupid. I wrote this chapter ages ago and it's just sat in Doc Manager ever since :/_

Renefield

_Hello _

_Im Renfled… Renepeiled? Renefield!_

_Master said I need to right to Fanfiction writers to make him look good._

_My master is very evil._

_Everyone thinks I don't like Vlad very much but he stole my role as master's favourite and master always liked me before him, sort of…_

_I am not stupid!_

_Mistress Ingrid is annoying and tries to discredit Master Vlad and The Count. _

_You are mean to me in your stories. I know the master will make me immortal! He promised!_

_Wolfie… I hate that little mutt! I'll send you a box of my homemade chocolates if you get rid of him._

_Yours etc…_

_Renefield._


	8. Wolfie

_Yes I am lazy._

Wolfie

_Hi! _

_I'm Wolfie!_

_Everyone thinks I'm 5 but I'm really grown up; I'm 8! _

_Uncle Count says that if I'm really mean he'll take me hunting! _

_Miss McCauley got me some colouring crayons too and apparently I'm going to go to 'school!' Or Miss McCauley will give me private lessons._

_I can't read so I don't know what you put in Fanfiction about me but it sounds fun!_

_I don't want to go back to mum or dad, mum left me and daddy ignored me, I like staying with Uncle Count and Ingrid and Erin and Vlad!_

_From Wolfie_

**FANFICTION HQ**

"Awwwww!" Chorus the writers.

**Next: Final chapter, Vlad!**


	9. Robin

_**A recent PM told me I'd forgotten someone important! How come none of you noticed? :o**_

_**Next chapter will be Vlad I promise.**_

_**Kinda embarressed, I keep having to up ratings on my stories because of my potty mouth :/ oops?**_

_**Here is Robin, mind wiped and all.**_

Robin

_Hi… I'm not really sure why you write Fanfiction about me… I have the most boring life in existence._

_So why do you stalk me and write weird, frankly creepy stories based around my life? _

_Another thing: I am NOT gay! You seem to be keen to write me having a relationship with Vlad Count, who I knew for all of a year and a half before he left and he most definitely wasn't a vampire!_

_I know I had my dark year where I dressed up as a Goth and believed in vampires but that didn't mean I would ask some eccentric dude with a great Halloween costume to bloody bite me like you all seem to think! T.T_

_Yeah, I'm not going to lie. Ingrid Count was bloody hot but she was not a freaking vampire! She stopped going to school at sixteen because she didn't want to, she was skiving! _

_Will Clarke moved away and Mr Van Helsing left after Jonno went to live with his mum, neither of them died! You people seem to have a creepy obsession with vampires and death._

_I moved to London a while ago before Ingrid Count or Dracula apparently 'destroyed Stokely' but I certainly wasn't around to see that!_

_Vlad hasn't kept contact with me at all since he left so I don't know why you think we're going to meet up anytime soon._

_Yes at one point I was sent to happy camp. T.T apparently I wasn't being 'social' enough but I was! A mobile phone does count as communicating even if I refuse to leave my room._

_Okay, maybe I do miss Vlad a bit. He was like my best friend until he ran off and left for whatever and didn't even bother to leave any means of contact, I just remember this awesome party at the Counts and then they were gone and I'd forgotten most of the previous year…_

_The point is though that you guys are stalkers! Spying on my personal live and posting it online for all to see! Do not appreciate it :o_

**FANFICTION HQ**

One of the writers' does a facepalm. "Do you think we should break it to him?"

"Nah," Another replies. "Let him work it out on his own," They laugh gleefully. "Now I have the address Vlad should speed to London expecting a treaty breaker and find Robin instead! Hahahaha!" The other writers sigh in amusement at the writer's craziness.

"Does anyone know what happened to Zoltan? The last we saw of him was when he kidnapped Joseei with his blood pack…" A writer asks stroking an imaginary beard that happens to be pink and covered white stripes, what a unique imagination they have.


	10. Vlad

_**Final chapter before thank you.**_

_**It's Vlad and he's got some things to say.**_

_**Because of how season 4 ended I had to REWRITE THE WHOLE CHAPTER! :O Well I guess it's my fault for not posting it sooner.**_

Vlad

_Just leave me alone will you? I'm sick of everyone nosing into my life and making false accusations! I don't care if you condone it by calling it fiction, I just want it gone!_

_Ok maybe some of it is a little true… but it doesn't mean I like it!_

_I made a lot of mistakes, a lot of big mistakes but I tried to fix them and I think I can give peace another go. _

_I know a lot of the authors want to rip my head off and feed it to Zoltan because of what I did to Bertrand, you don't need to; my conscience punishes me enough. I was terribly wrong about Bertrand. I should never have killed him; he was loyal and not a traitor. On a more positive note; I've been experimenting with alchemy and I think there's a chance at bringing back vampires from ash. I thought you'd want to know._

_Erin. Such a big mistake; I thought I wouldn't be able to handle life without her, now I want her gone. She didn't have to become what she did but she was so hell bent on revenge that she destroyed herself. I was wrong to bite her but she was wrong to bite breathers! She's known the pain of what a vampire can do to a person more than anyone yet she destroyed lives just like Ingrid had destroyed hers and Ryan's. Do not think I can care for her now. I can't, I can't ever forgive her now or in a thousand years._

_Peace is not over yet, I will achieve peace whether I have to dust every council member in my way. Ingrid and Dad are on my side now and nothing is going to get in the way of peace; Jonno is still willing too._

_Malik and Erin are going to be a thorn in my side for a long time, I know and I am going to stop them when it comes to it, Erin cannot escape becoming dust if she pushes it too far; any feelings I had for her are gone and I hope she chokes on a garlic snail._

_Yes. I have been sneaking blood out of the cellar but I can't stand soy anymore, it tastes like bat poo so I might have been chipping into the blood cellar every so often. It tastes better than I thought it would._

_I know you are all mad at me about Robin but I can't bring him back into my life whether he remembers or not. You saw what happened to Erin! Do you really want Robin to become that? My life is too dangerous for any more breathers; I'm a risk too. Ever since I started on the human stuff breathers seem to smell nicer. A lot nicer and sweet too, with all that fresh blood running just under their skin… and- NO! I can't think like that._

_I need something to drink so I guess this is the end of the letter._

_Vlad,_

_P.S: Don't bring Erin back in Fanfiction; I never want to see that garlic sucker again._

**FANFICTION HQ**

"He doesn't seem too happy with us…" A writer murmurs but is ignored by the Bertrand Fangroup who are dancing around singing happily.

"Erin and Vlad are made for each other!" A Vlerin supporter says waving a pen at the letter. "You cannot deny the chemistry!"

"Vlad and Adze make a much better pair." Another writer challenges.

_**Three minutes later.**_

The Fanfiction HQ is in anarchy after a small Vladze-Vlerin argument turned into a Vlerty-Vladze-Vlerin-Vlobin- war.

No more information can be glimpsed without being pulled into the fight.


	11. Thank You

After ten rather strange chapters 'Dear Fanfiction Writers' is finished :D

Thank you everyone who read even if you didn't review. :)

I'd like to thank these people:

**Redrachxo**

**Guest (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!)**

**Charchisto**

**Vlarinfan4eva**

**ChristianTeen**

**Lolsome-O-Sis Girl**

**Yeknodelittl (Have I spelt this right?)**

**Rosa (Oyus! Guest with a name!)**

**Abbysoloman**

**DizzyIzzy2010**

**Nameless Secret Keeper**

And these people:

**Arisu-Tsukiyomi**

**Binnie-Bunny**

**Charchisto**

**ChristianTeen**

**Ecrilthir**

**Feelingwolfish**

**KariMaud**

**Nameless Secret Keeper**

**PartOfTheDraculaClan**

**Songstar1**

**Vlarinfan4eva**

**witchy girl 88**

Not forgetting you:

**Aloujay**

**Binnie-Bunny**

**Vlarinfan4eva**

**Suchagleekx**

A big thank you to everyone who reviewed, followed, favourited and viewed this story. :D

Here's a little teaser for a new fic I'm working on. (If you're really awesome you should have seen this before):

_Gambling truths is a dangerous game but then again, being a vampire is living that game. He made mistakes, he lied but that's all forgotten now. Its 2143, no one's there to reveal his not-so squeaky clean past. They might not be there now, but they're coming and this time there's nowhere to hide and no lies to hide behind._

The story is called 'Squeaky Clean' and if I get good enough feedback for it. You might see it soon!

**Thank you all again and a merry Christmas to everyone!**


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